Here’s what I wrote in 5 minutes (below) – and here’s the graphic that I tried to make to explain my point about the parts of a momma’s brain that need to be quieted … kind of how Stacy explains over at My Life of What Ifs
Then I thought of how “here” is the word we use to respond when attendance is taken as children.
And then I thought about what “here” means as a momma …
Because HERE when you’re a momma isn’t a location. Or a destination. It’s a state of mind. Being in the HERE and NOW is a challenge for many mommas. And when those who have a semi stable / reliable ability to achieve the here and now-ness they can’t quite explain it to others without sounding like pretentious pains in the arse. Except we’re not. Really. The key to being in the here and now is NOT GIVING A DAMN what someone else thinks, what the expectations beyond are, why the laundry has multiplied like amorous proverbial rabbits.
Here and now means being able to turn off those extraneous parts of the brain. The coulda. The shoulda. The gonna. The hafta/gotta. And the woulda. (yeah sorry, the ego the id and the super ego don’t exist in this conversation Jung and Freud and their successors can shelve it for now).
And most of all – it means turning off the “WHAT IF” … what if the neighbors drop in (holy crap have you read that nonsense trying to brain wash you into being a demagogue of the clean house cult? “CHAOS! Cant Have Anyone Over Syndrome!” “Fly Lady – Clean Your Sink Until it Shines” or anything on Pinterest that will make your eyes bleed and your brain fry?)
That was me a year ago. Not kidding. I had a complete breakdown because I couldn’t keep my house Pinterest clean, my laundry under control and keep up with work, school and a list of volunteer activities that makes an insomniac independently wealthy 20 year old with 8 arms look lazy.
My husband talked some sense into me … he reminded me that NOBODY had asked me (ever even once) to be like that. He also reminded me that we’ve never run out of food to eat, clothes to wear, gas in our cars or anything else that I was obsessing about.
He was right.
A year later, my house is still a home (and lived in style messy) but not a health hazard, my socks match each other (if not my outfit) and I’m a much happier more HERE mom, wife, student, professional and member of the human race.
Thank you honey