Broken #FMF

Broken …

 

… if I were a good little Catholic girl I’d write something here about how we’re all broken and only through the Lord are we made anew in His Mercy, Love & Light.

But that’s kind of overkill given that it’s Good Friday and we all already KNOW that.

SO … as we wander through the desert during the Lenten Season we all experience some sort of growth; it’s different every year; we might not see the lessons at all until long after. Last lent was a brutally humbling experience here. In my attempts to grow in faith and health, I failed in my mothering and flopped in my academic work and I was made painfully aware of those shortcomings.

Between the mass of the last supper and good Friday 2012 I ended up in the emergency room with a destroyed foot and ankle. Massive injuries that I put off seeking treatment for because I had obligations to church. Not to my family. Not to my academic pursuits. To church. I spent 11 of 13 consecutive days doing church stuff. The day after good Friday, I served at the Easter vigil on crutches and with an ankle wrapped in ace wrap. The following week I saw a specialist. I’m probably lucky the specialist didn’t crucify me on the crutches … my foot/ankle were so badly injured that they’d have been better off if they WERE broken. I spent the next 4 months (16 weeks) in a walking cast from my toes to my knee. I could take it off to shower or swim. That was it.

This injury was the beginning of the undoing of the cotton candy edition of faith that I’d created … if I was so busy working on teaching at Sunday school, of reading the Word of God to the congregation at mass, of serving on the finance council, of attending classes and meetings and such, I was being faithful right? If I was there AT church I was doing what I was supposed to be doing, right?

 

WRONG.

 

God gave me responsibilities, duties, projects that are my mission. And I was ignoring them. I was letting someone (a human someone or someones) give me a to-do list and pretending that it was from God. It took a lot of soul searching and humbling realizations and prayers to come back to what God was asking em to do: to be myself, to do what He put before me, to serve those closest to me and those most in need.

It’s been a broken year in the perspective of those in my parish (when they look at me anyway) and even to several priests I know. But it’s been a healing year for me. Getting back to basics and reaffirming my mission to be what the Lord has called me to be.

May those who walk in holy darkness find their callings.

Amen.

 

Want to know how Five Minute Friday got started? Checkout the back story over here.

Want to join our favorite free writing exercise of the week? It’s easy and open to anyone.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat on the prompt: “Broken” with no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

OK, are you ready? Please give me your best five minutes on:::

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2 thoughts on “Broken #FMF

  1. Hi! Thanks for popping on in to my site. Your comment came through actually, so I don’t know what it was doing, but I tried to fix the settings and see if it’s friendlier. (I am a novice at blogging, only here for FMF. LOL)

    So I visited back to you … and this post is AMAZING. Love this:
    “Getting back to basics and reaffirming my mission to be what the Lord has called me to be. May those who walk in holy darkness find their callings.”

    You are right. So right. It is NOT about doing what people ask you to do. It IS following where God asks you to be and what He asks you to do, to focus on. So glad to hear you have balanced life closer back to what God wants. Because in the end, THAT is right where you need to be.

    Rejoicing with you in the resurrection this Eastertide.

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