Heathens & Holiness … hmmmm

Before you read my rants and wanderings – here’s the important part (thank you AJ Jacobs for doing the research & crafting the words – for anyone who hasn’t, if you’re reading this then you should read The Year of Living Biblically by AJ Jacobs and you should also know that I’m using this academically here – I do not know Mr. Jacob’s personal views on Ye Olde White Smoke … nor would I pester him about it)

If for no other reason than Dogma, the new Pope (Francis I – the first Franciscan and the first from the Americas) is not going to suddenly whip out The Year of Living Biblically and turn to page 328 and tell people to stop persecuting “Cafeteria Style Catholics” because when you get right down to it, Biblically speaking “everyone practices cafeteria religion. It’s not just moderates. Fundamentalists do it too. They can’t heap everything on their plate .. There’s nothing wrong with choosing. Cafeterias aren’t bad per se . The key is choosing the right dishes. You need to pick the nurturing ones (compassion), the healthy ones (love thy neighbor), not the bitter ones. Religious leaders don’t know everything.” just in time to unify the world’s religions & people for Easter.

From The Chive

From The Chive


It’s fixed now (and was as of 5pm when I was showing someone how to access the church bulletins), but


The hyperlink that news.va has put out to every Catholic church’s website misspells Francis I as Fracis I.

I’m not kidding.

Click the link & the bold headline on News.VA (below the ad for The Pope App) says the same thing.

Imagine how different your dogma would be if Ns were removed? All those NOTs in the 10 commandments become OTs … thou shall ot …

Must be that dumbbunny in my Professional Ethics class back in the day who – every single time she wrote/typed ethics wrote ethnics and refused to change it even when corrected – now works at the Vatican. Err Vatica?


Before I went and looked at the News.VA at lunch break, these were my thoughts:

Is it just me or do you find yourself looking askance at people who are all ecstatic about the new pope hoping for change?

I just don’t get it .

people who aren’t even practicing Catholics are excited .

for WHAT?!?!? .

it’s still Catholicism .

it’s not like the conclave elected a Buddhist Monk .

or Barak H. Obama .

or a WOMAN

or someone from the LGTB community

or a cat

or an alien

or a TeleTubby for heaven’s sake .

From The Chive

From The Chive

he’s human, male, Catholic, celibate, ordained .

dogmatically speaking he has the ability to trans-substantiate water & wine and bread into the Blood & Body of Christ through the Consecration. and now he’s infallible. AWESOME.


He’s not going to magically change all the rules of Catholic dogma that make people roll their eyes about the papacy and/or dogma and/or infallibility.


The BIG rules are still going to stand .


priests have to be unmarried men, no sex outside of marriage, no artificial contraception, life begins at conception, marriage is between a man and a woman no exceptions, the sacraments have to be performed in the church building or they’re a sacrilege (wow 34 years of being Catholic (in various levels of piety or not) and I finally spelled that right … with the help of 3 dictionaries & Word spell-check) 

 Why? For the same reason I spelled desecrate incorrectly at the spelling bee of ’88 in the 518. Oh wait, that WHY isn’t about the spell check thing … 

Why won’t dogma change in light of a new Pope?
Because it’s not DOGMA if you can change it. Or as I was told growing up “you’re Catholic, this is what you believe; don’t ask questions” …

But here are the BIGGIES that might as well be set in stone a la Moses & The 10 (not the Charlton Heston version … gimme a break)


as one erudite Episcopal Facebooker pointed out today, the process of choosing a Pope (theirs is democratically elected AND female AND praying for Francis I to be willing to open talks between the 2 religions)

If you’ve ever studied the history of his Holiness Pope Pius XI you’ll understand the importance of the “he who went before me remains infallible even unto death” line that successive Papacies toe.


From The Chive

From The Chive


Habemas Papum.

And don’t forget to get your Pope App




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